Positive Discipline

5 Tips On How To Teach Your Kids To Pray The Right Way

When teaching kids about prayer, it’s important to teach them more than rhymes and recitations. For children to experience prayer as it is intended to be, they need to be taught how and why to pray.

This is where teaching prayer can get much more complex. There are a lot of competing ideologies about the power and purpose of prayer. We are going to dig into the core teachings from the Bible, especially surrounding Jesus and prayer.

5 Tips To Teach Your Kids About Prayer

Teaching prayer in a meaningful way is hard because communication is hard! God and all things unseen are difficult to explain to children.

Not only this, but we can have our own hang ups and confusion about prayer. I know I have. So, here’s some tips to keep in mind as you teach your kids about prayer.

image of girl praying - teaching kids about prayer

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1. Be An Example

Pray. Pray in front of your kids and with your kids. Tell them when you are going to go pray alone.

Talk to your kids about your prayers. Share your prayer requests and invite them to celebrate answers to prayer. Ask how you can pray for them.

2. Teach To Their Ability

A toddler, an 8 year old, and a teenager are all at different learning levels. Praying with your toddler for half an hour is unlikely to go well. Reciting nursery rhyme prayers to your teenager is likely to end up in eye rolls.

Meet your kids where they are at individually. Keep the vocabulary and topics age-appropriate.
Keep toddler prayers simple.
Teach preschoolers to pray by having them “join the conversation” with you and Jesus.
Ask older kids if they have questions about prayer and don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know, let’s look it up in scripture” if they ask harder questions.

3. Use Tools To Encourage Your Children To Pray

Books On Prayer

Try reading from a formal prayer book, kids prayer books, and other tools to help you teach your child to pray. Acronyms like P-R-A-Y and A-C-T-S have become popular tools in order to guide our conversations with God.

Prayer Journals

One great tool I’ve enjoyed is having a prayer journal. So many times I’ve prayed for things then forgotten about them. Having a prayer journal reminds me of all the prayers God has answered. This Prayer Journal Kit from Kingdom Bloggers in full of great tools to help encourage you in your prayer journey as a mom.

prayer journal

Prayer Journal For Kids

And yes, you can also buy kid’s prayer journals – but even a notebook will work just fine. No need to get fancy unless you’d like to or find the guidance helpful.

A Prayer Guide

You can also use a prayer guide or structure for prayer. A mom mentor taught me a 30 minute prayer pattern that went like this:

3 minutes praising
3 minutes of resting in worship
3 minutes confessing
4 minutes reading the Word
8 minutes petition – ask, seek
3 minutes listening
3 minutes thanking
3 minutes of praise

Download this prayer guide as a beautiful coloring page.

I found this particularly helpful during a time I was dealing with anxiety. It’s good to try out a variety of tools but not to put any particular weight on them as guaranteeing a result apart from connection to God. It’s important to not create superstitions or put more faith in formulas than God.

4. Don’t Judge

It is always the right time to pray (James 5:13-15). Paul said to, “Pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17). If they want to to pray on the potty, let them pray. If your kid prays for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, tell them it is good.

There is no condemnation for those in Jesus (Romans 8:1). It’s all too easy to confuse them with ceremony and rules (bow your head, fold your hands, etc.). God welcomes awkward prayers anytime any place. He doesn’t require us to put our bodies in a certain position or say things eloquently.

God welcomes awkward prayers anytime any place. He doesn't require us to put our bodies in a certain position or say things eloquently. #prayer #praying More on how to teach your kids to pray Click To Tweet

It’s more important to emphasize to our children the boldness and ease with which we can come to God in prayer. Help your child discover how to connect to God in their own way.

image of prayer tip - teaching your kids how to pray

5. Change It Up

Variety helps keep their hearts and minds engaged in real conversation. In his book, Prayer: Finding The Heart’s True Home, Richard J Foster describes twenty-one types of prayer. All of these could be summed up as taking a moment to acknowledge His presence and your relationship, whether listening, speaking, or in silence with God.

So, teach your kids to try out praying in different ways. Challenge the status quo. Sometimes pray short and sweet. Other times, have a long deep conversation. It’s even good to “have an argument” with God in front of your kids. It models authenticity and shows them that we have a God who handle honesty.

Demonstrate speaking to God with day to day casual talk. Ask God for help, guidance, or to have a need met. Say thank you. Ask for forgiveness. And of course, make time to worship and honor God. The important thing is that they learn to connect to God in conversation.

One of my favorite quotes about prayer is from Charles Spurgeon. “True prayer is neither a mere mental exercise nor a vocal performance. It is far deeper than that – it is spiritual transaction with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.”

“True prayer is neither a mere mental exercise nor a vocal performance. It is far deeper than that – it is spiritual transaction with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.”

Charles Spurgeon

How To Teach Prayer

The best way to teach kids about prayer is to follow in the patterns and words of Jesus. Modeling will be your most powerful lesson on prayer. More is caught then taught, as they say.

When a child enters our lives, it can become more difficult to set aside time to pray. The new responsibilities for a precious, fragile life can stir up a wealth of worries.  Our natural response may be to become busy and anxious, not realizing the real solution is to pause and connect. As parents, how much more than ever do we need to call upon “Our Father in heaven.”

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explicitly teach prayer. If you didn’t grow up in a praying household, you may have felt uncomfortable when you first tried praying. Perhaps you still do now. Fortunately, Jesus explicitly told us, “You should pray like this…” in Matthew 6:9.

How Jesus Taught Prayer

When Jesus taught us to pray (Matthew 6), he wasn’t just giving us words to recite, he was teaching us how to relate to God in a new way. In teaching us to pray, Jesus was guiding us in how to connect with God under the new covenant. 

God ripped the temple veil when Jesus died (Matthew 27:50-51), opening up access to Him (Hebrews 10:20). So we can now boldly approach God with confidence, not as slaves, but as children (Galatians 4:7).

And so Jesus’ prayer in Matthew 6 opens with “Our Father in heaven.” And now our prayers can start in likewise manner, addressing our Father.

I think it’s important to have the understanding that word for heaven here isn’t referring to a way off place up in the sky, but the kingdom of heaven that Jesus so often talked about as being “near.” We are praying to a Father in an invisible realm very near to us.

Teaching Kids How & Where Should We Pray

Jesus said in Matthew 6:5-6 that we should not pray “as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”

The main issue here is not the location, it’s the heart. God wants us to pray to Him and for Him. The wrong way is to do it for show or as a mindless habit. As Jesus told the Samaritan woman, there’s no special place we have to go to worship (John 4:21-23).

 “Woman, believe me, the hour comes, when neither in this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, will you worship the Father. You worship that which you don’t know. We worship that which we know; for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour comes, and now is, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such to be his worshippers.”

In short, the where is anywhere and the how is in spirit and truth.

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A Kids Lesson On How To Pray

Below I offer one example of how we could teach our children about prayer. Breaking down the Lord’s Prayer is a great place to start. There’s a lot in there to teach us about how to relate to and talk to God.

This is how I would teach my elementary and older kids. Maybe it could helpful for you in talking with yours. It’s probably too much to teach in one sitting or the younger ones, so I recommend dividing it up.

Lessons From the Lord’s Prayer

Teaching from Matthew 6:9-13.

Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy.
This teaches us to whom and how. Jesus taught us to pray to God as someone close but also someone very special and perfect. He is the ruler of the universe and we should talk to him as both a dad and super-power.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
These words show us that we should pray for things to be done God’s way, which is good an perfect. Part of our job as Christians is to bring God’s heavenly way to the world. Our prayers should be about God’s way above our own ways.

Give us today our daily bread.
Ask for enough. God is cares for us as His children. He wants to hear from us every day. God wants us to ask him for things and trust that He will give us what we need.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Ask for forgiveness. Loving someone means asking for forgiveness when you’ve done something wrong. When we do wrong it is important to ask God to forgive us. We also need to forgive others with God’s help.

And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Ask for help. We live in a world where there is still evil and temptation all around us. We need God to guide us in the right way and protect us from the devil’s attempts to get us to make bad choices.

Prayer is a tool that empowers us against sin. Jesus also said, “Watch and pray, that you don’t enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

Teaching The Holy Spirit to Children

Jesus said we must worship in the Spirit, so teaching kids about prayer means teaching them about the Holy Spirit. “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24). Prayer helps us “keep in step with the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25). So how do we teach our kids about the Holy Spirit?

I like to talk about the Holy Spirit as our local translator or explainer. Paul said in Romans 8:26, “In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.”

A great way to talk about the Holy Spirit’s involvement with prayer is to talk to your kids about knowing their non-verbal cues and how you understand that communication. It can be a similar example to how the Spirit intercedes for us, knowing how to explain our needs when we don’t.

Here’s an example. You could say something along these lines to your child. “When I see you rub your eyes, I know you are getting tired. You don’t have to use words. Another person who doesn’t know you like I do, might not know. But I can tell them, Katie is tired.

The Holy Spirit is with you and knows you. He can tell God what you need, even when you don’t say it with words.”

Final Thoughts on Teaching Prayer

Whatever you do, just pray. Don’t worry about being perfect. God is patient! He doesn’t get easily offended. He knows how we are made. The Holy Spirit can translate.

In fact the Holy Spirit can guide and teach us how to pray. He reminds us of Jesus’ words and helps us understand them. Get into the word so that you know how to pray for God’s will.

And keep teaching your children all along the way. Teaching kids about prayer is an important part of being a godly parent. You don’t have to be perfect, just be honest and do your best with God’s help.

I’d like to leave you with thoughts from my favorite verses about prayer.
“The smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, went up before God out of the angel’s hand” Revelation 8:4.

In Revelation 5:8 it says there are golden bowls of incense “which are the prayers of the saints.”

Behind the veil of our temporary reality, our prayers are an appealing offering and a pleasing fragrance around God’s throne.

Prayer is such an important topic that I dedicated a lesson to it in Parenting In Christ: Training In The Disciplines of Jesus. Get your copy of the bible study discussion guide here!

If you enjoyed this post, check out:

Teaching Your Kids Humility

The True Meaning Of Repentance

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Christina Dronen

Christian mom who practices gentle parenting. Author of the Parenting In Christ Bible study discussion guides.

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17 Comments

  1. Tony Clark says:

    Hey Christina
    I’m a pray without ceasing kinda guy in the way of ‘ talking while I’m walking ‘.
    A lot of people would mistake me for talking to myself because – well you forget where you are sometimes – to be honest though I don’t think I could survive without it.
    Particularly for the youth, life is hard enough so your comment ” the real solution is to pause and connect ” does hold a lot of wisdom.
    Great post
    PS
    Love the picture you chose, says it all in looking for the pause button.

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      Thanks Tony, I love that you pray while you walk! I used to do that more and then I started judging those prayers as inadequate and got out of the habit. It’s my hope to get back into the habit again!

  2. Melissa Henderson says:

    Amen. Pray without ceasing.

  3. Edna Davidsen says:

    You’re right, Jesus did not only teaching us to pray. He did also teaching us.”
    I’m not familiar with Richard J. Foster’s book, but it sounds like a good read.
    Your walk-through the different prayer-perspectives in this blog post were eyeopening.
    My favourite sentence of this blog post was:
    “Prayer is for our benefit, and it glorifies God.”
    If I don’t pray in the morning and the evening it’s like something is missing in my life.
    It does not have to be a long prayer, as you say, the strength lays in the daily connection with God through the prayer-life.
    Thank you, and God bless you and your work!
    Edna Davidsen

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      Thanks Edna! I think the many ways to pray reminds us how big God is. He connects with us in ways that no other can.
      I certainly could pray more!

  4. Marcie Cramsey says:

    This is a much needed post today. I like your quote, “Prayer helps us “keep in step with the Spirit.” It surely does.
    And this is something we want for our children. Helping them know how to keep in step with the Spirit gives them the power to live fully pleasing and glorifying lives for our God in heaven.
    Thank you for your wisdom!

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      I’m so glad that this is encouraging to you, Marcie.
      And you’re right – keeping in step with the Spirit is the best way for our kids to walk in a way that is pleasing to God, not by might but by the Spirit!

  5. Tonya says:

    Christina,
    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post about how critical prayer is to parenting. As a parent who prayed her kiddo through childhood, and is now watching him venture into adulthood, I can attest to the desperate pleas for my son that frequently enter the ears of Our Father. God hears our prayers and understands our hearts for He is a parent too.
    Thank you for such a beautiful post.

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      Thank you for your kind words, Tanya.
      I think it is comforting too, to consider that God cares even more for our children than we do. Our prayers for our children are welcomed.

  6. Emily | To Unearth says:

    Great point about the different ways to pray! I find it can be a hard balance at times to know how to come before God. On the one hand, He’s the God of the universe on His throne, but on the other, He’s our Father who knows us intimately. I love your point about no matter what, it’s always the right time to pray!

  7. Nate Hultz says:

    Wow! This was a very challenging and thought provoking post. I have been on this journey of desiring to get even closer with God. However, I have 2 three-year-olds and work full-time (45 hours) and part-time in youth ministry. I miss Jesus!
    On the other hand, I’m constantly promoting this idea what your children see teach them more than what you say as a parent. I have failed a lot over the last few months/year since they have been getting older. I’ve been on such a journey that I need to read and hear this today! Thank you for feeling prompted to write on this. Blessings to you and the impact you are having.

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      Thanks Nate!
      2 three year olds can take a lot of time and attention – not to mention two more jobs!
      I think those very busy times are ideal for little prayers throughout the day. And I think those little prayers – like many conversations can draw us in to deeper longer conversations with God.
      I absolutely agree that our most powerful teaching tool is our example.

  8. D Scott Prindle says:

    I’m like Tony. I pray all the time. But there are different kinds of prayers I pray. Thoughts. Conversations. Intercessions. In the Spirit. Groaning.
    The one kind of prayer I need to do more of is… listening prayer. Prayer is communication with God. It’s so easy to be in a one way conversation.
    So I need to listen to His voice. Way more than I do. I know I miss many opportunities because I’m not listening. I think my prayer is done when I’m done talking.
    In the context of children (our are all adults), kids don’t like to listen. And sometimes they don’t like the answers they are given.
    Paul exhorts me to wean myself off the milk and eat solid food. My food is to do the works of the Father, but how can I do them if I’m not listening? So I need the meat of His word. I need to listen.

    1. Christina Dronen says:

      Definitely, we could all certainly listen more! There have been times when I intentionally practiced listening. Honestly, it usually felt strange, because I rarely ‘heard’ anything specific.. maybe more felt convictions.
      But healthy relationships and conversations go two ways! Wonderful point.

  9. Christina Dronen says:

    I know what you mean, Emily. God is so great we don’t want to dishonor Him by somehow praying wrong, but at the same time we don’t want to get so hung up on that, that it stops us from praying!

  10. Beautiful article on prayer. I liked how you pointed out that Jesus teaches us to pray under the new covenant, not as slaves but as children of God. I would like to share this with the parents in our kids ministry at church. 🙂

    1. Thanks so much Marcie for sharing & for the encouragement!

      I am grateful for how direct Jesus was here. And yet, understanding prayer can still be challenging (at least for me). I guess we just need a lot of Holy Spirit help as we pray & thank God we get it 🙂

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